Yin + Yang

In my head, I had it all planned out. I was going to have 3 or four kids, space them exactly two years apart, and it was going to be perfect. They’d all be best friends and HP and I would do everything right. Young, starry-eyed naivety is a funny thing, isn’t it? Early twenty-something Lauren had no idea how quickly her best laid plans would be flipped on their upside end. But late thirty-something Lauren knows it all happens for the precise right reasons.

My kids are 3 years and 5 months apart. They’re opposite genders and opposite personalities, too. When all this became apparent, after a premature delivery of my daughter, a devastating miscarriage in the middle, and a miracle ‘Hail Mary’ of a pregnancy to bring Pup to complete our family, I thought a lot about the age spread between my babies. I perseverated over whether they’d grow up to be close. After all, I’m a twin and my twin sister is my best friend in this world. How could any other siblings hold a candle to that kind of bond? In my mind, they couldn’t. I prayed a lot that my kids would at least like each other and find some modicum of common ground.

Handsome Pants thought I was crazy. He has one sibling, a sister, and she’s 5 and a half years younger than him. He insisted our kids would be close, just like he and his sister are, but I struggled to believe him. I just needed to see it with my own eyes. And ever the patient one, HP would knowingly smile and tell me, ‘You’ll see’.

Once Pup arrived, I watched like a mama hawk for signs of affection and loyalty. And as it turned out, I didn’t have to look hard at all. They took to one another immediately, and in a lot of ways, Pup looked for Blu almost as much as he looked for me. He loved to hear her sing and would fall asleep to the gentle stroking of his hair by her small and tender hand. He’d smile at her more than anyone else, and his first discernible word was actually what would become his moniker for her for a few years to come. At about 11 months old, he started calling out, ‘Deetah’ with an inflection that mirrored how I’d call her ‘Sister’. I still refer to her as Sister or Sis and we jokingly call her Deetah, too.

I hear and see my daughter lovingly nurture him still today. She holds his hand in public or at home on our couch watching TV. She looks for him to get onto and off of the school bus, even though I’m standing right there at the bus stop. She sings songs to him when he’s tired and reads to him whenever he asks. She lovingly hides our Christmas kissing bears for him after he goes to sleep each night and rejoices with him upon their discovery in the morning. She loves him and he loves her. And no number of years or personality differences or gender disparities can change that. I am so blessed to see the love that blossoms between their two young but mighty souls.

And so, when we took family pictures a few weeks ago, I was delighted to hear my babies ask to recreate the first portrait they ever posed for together. A true Yin and Yang pose that represents them perfectly. And 8 years later, it’s even more beautiful because of all it represents for my Mommy heart. God has blessed me so abundantly, in His own perfect timing.