Rainy day wedding

On October 30, 2004, I married my best friend. As I sorted through our wedding pictures today, I realized I could show you hundreds of perfectly posed, beautiful shots from our wedding day fifteen years ago. But then I thought to myself, ‘No, I want to share real life.’ So that’s what I’m doing. On this special day, I am sharing one of my most cherished shots. It’s completely candid, captured in a moment that honestly defines my marriage. And to share that with you is like sharing a huge piece of my heart.

In this moment, we had just taken umpteen posed wedding photos, both as a couple and with our bridal party. Just as we finished, the sky opened up and my perfect fall wedding day became every bride’s worst fear. It was now dreary and pouring and overcast. As the rain fell around us, I began to get upset. I told Handsome Pants that all my perfect plans were ruined. I worried about my hair and dress getting wet, I worried about guests feeling put out for having to come to our reception in the rain and I worried about our bridal party being upset that they got drenched in their mad dash to the limousine.

But in that instant, my husband caught me. He told me none of that mattered and that our wedding day was still perfect because we were finally married after a lengthy long-distance engagement. I nodded and pretended to believe him, even though in my heart I was crushed. And he knew it. So he crouched down and picked up a handful of wet fallen leaves. He heaved them in the air and I looked at him like he was a lunatic. And then I softened. I smiled. And that smile gave way to uncontrollable laughter and some leaf throwing of my own. Our day wasn’t ruined. It was perfectly imperfect, just like us.

And so you see, that snippet from our wedding day is so much like marriage itself. It isn’t perfect all the time. Rain falls and shit happens. Marriage isn’t just for the happy times. Marriage is there for that in between stuff, too. The stuff that doesn’t go as planned. The stuff that makes us fight and makes us sad and makes us grieve and makes us feel hopeless. It’s there to remind us that no matter how things look, we’re not alone in facing them as long as we commit to facing them together. And sure, we’ve had more happy times and abundant blessings than I can believe most days, but we’ve hit lows, too. And in those lows our marriage has strengthened. In those lows I’ve drawn closer to a man who has always made my happiness and my heart his priority and who has shown an unbelievable ability to take even the toughest times and turn them into our happiest. So today, I proudly share this picture. And I encourage you to throw the metaphorical leaves in the air when the going gets tough, too. No marriage is perfect, but the strongest ones turn inward for strength. I’m stronger because of my husband and that’s the greatest blessing of all.

Happy 15 years, Handsome Pants.