Facebook reminded me of this quagmire of a day that went down two years ago. And try as I might, I can’t resist sharing my commentary on it again. I’ve lived a lot of life in my time, but this particular day was a defining point for me. An epiphany that no matter how things look, as bad as they might seem, God is with me and He loves me. And time and life continues to show me that knowledge is always enough.
Two things have changed since I wrote this piece:
1. I don’t drive that minivan anymore. It spent 7+ years with our family, traversing us up mountains high, valleys low and coastal shorelines aplenty. It carried our babies into toddlerhood and school-aged beings. And Blu even into her tween years. I won’t lie. It was nice to send her to the third row when she felt a bit too close for my rattled nerves, but turns out I was never really a minivan girl to begin with. So I traded it in for something strikingly similar to the loaner car I spent 7 hours in that day.
2. Our family adopted a Post It tradition of our own after this serendipitous discovery. A week after this day, I had an appointment at Dana Farber in Boston to begin discussing my latest course of cancer treatment. This time, it was radiation and I was terrified. The kids and I sat with a stack of Post Its and wrote inspirational messages on them. We even polled my Facebook friends list for their favorite sayings to add to a sticky note in their honor. And then I trekked into the city armed with the only thing that made me feel calm in my sea of crazy at the time. I carried those notes into the hospital like they were precious cargo and I lovingly placed them in restrooms, on elevators, under chairs and even on the back of a wheelchair while someone unknowingly sat in it. My life was feeling so uncertain on that day and in the weeks that would follow, but that act brought me peace beyond measure. I still wonder who found those notes and if it brought them the same reassurance that my own discovery did two years ago. I’d like to think they did...
And now, my retelling of life back then, written 1/3/18:
Oh boy, today was a shitty day. My van has been in the shop since yesterday morning for a routine remote start install (which was a much-appreciated and generous Christmas gift to our family). One mishap after another at the dealership yesterday led to my car not being ready, so the service manager kindly gave me a loaner for today.
This morning, while rushing to get the kids out the door and into the loaner car to shuttle them to school, I grabbed the loaner keys and dashed, in my pajamas and slippers because I had intended to come right home. It was only after locking the garage door that I realized I didn’t grab my own key ring, which holds my house key. I brought the kids to school and came home to my driveway and was at a loss for what to do. I called Handsome Pants at work to see if I could meet him for his house key, but no answer as I knew he had a morning full of meetings. I finally reached him three hours later, and headed towards his work to meet him without so much as my purse.
I got his key and turned back towards home, only to get on the highway to find it at a dead stop due to an accident. What should have been a 20 minute drive took me an hour and a half. I got home with just enough time to shower and eat something finally before it was time to get the kids. I got the call that my car was ready, so the kids and I headed back to the dealership.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disgruntled. I was truly mired in a Job complex and feeling pretty sorry for myself. But then I got to the dealership and stopped in the restroom. I closed the stall door and I saw this. And every bit of stress I was feeling from the day melted away. God loves me, and God loved Job. And I got some much-needed perspective on my supposed ‘problems’, which were so small compared to what others deal with. Some people don’t have a home or a car to worry about, and some don’t have a person like James to call up and rely on. Someone had a bad accident today and may not have made it home. Those are real problems. Mine are not. I am blessed with more than I probably deserve, and this well-timed Post It sure put me right back in my place! Even in the tough times, never lose your faith or your perspective.
And yes, I left the note for someone else to discover. ❤️
And I also hid a house key in the garage. 😉
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