Birthday Boy

Pup is 8 today! My baby, who has the nerve to grow up and try *not* to be a baby anymore. But little does he know, the joke is on him. Because in my heart, he will always be that same tiny, warm 7 lb. 5 oz. bundle that they placed on my chest on that cold, rainy South Texas day in 2011. Nothing about my life would ever be the same and that’s how he’ll always be in my sappy Mommy heart. It’s totally fair, because I worked so hard to bring him into this world. The least he can do is stay a baby forever, right?

Eight always seemed like a ‘Big Kid’ rite of passage to me. When Blu had her 8th birthday, I remember thinking the same thing. She just felt so grown to me from that day on. So, experience told me that I might feel the same way when my son approached his 8th birthday, too. That I might get weepy and sentimental about that fact that my kids are growing up. And that I might long for the days where they were small enough to not only grow inside me but also snuggle on my chest in the tiniest, sweetest smelling little ball of squish. But everyone knows that babies don’t ‘keep’, so we settle for the memories. For the stories. And for the photos that draw our hearts back to that very moment in time. Today, I’m sharing a photo of the moment I met my son for the first time. And while I’m doing it for your viewing pleasure so you can audibly ‘Aww’ out loud, I’m doing it more for my Mommy heart. A heart that just can’t believe how quickly the years have flown and wishes, if even for just one moment, she could feel that baby again. But as with most things, after some introspective thought, logic prevails. I’m reminded that if I still had that baby to hold, I’d never know the cool kid that he has grown to be. I’d never know him for the caring and sensitive boy who loves math so much that he practices it daily. A boy who asks us to quiz him on math facts ‘just for fun’ (his words). A boy who is really good at running and climbing and dribbling a basketball and a soccer ball. A boy who memorizes Pokémon and Fortnite characters and facts with an ease and adeptness that baffles me. And a boy who loves with his whole heart, in a tender way that I rarely see in people four times his age. His heart feels deeply and loves freely, much like mine, and I am so grateful for that. I’ll share a story that really illustrates that for me.

Yesterday, while we meandered through Colonial Williamsburg, Pup grew tired. We had spent over ten hours walking around Busch Gardens the day before and his little legs were feeling it. So, when we strolled into a garden area behind a big colonial home, he asked me to sit with him on a bench. While Handsome Pants and Blu excitedly explored and planned a future garden of their own, Pup leaned close to me and took my hand in an absent-minded way that exuded ease and trust in the gentlest of ways. As he laced his fingers through mine, he looked up at me and said, ‘Ahh, the sun feels so good on my face’ and in that instant, I saw myself. This boy is so much like me, right down to his need for finding peace and calm in the center of chaos. And while people filed past us and noise and laughter surrounded us, everything faded away as I looked at this child who has completed my heart in the purest of ways. God knew what he was doing when He sent us two children who can so well mirror both my husband and me. Blu is so much like HP, and Pup’s spirit is a lot like mine. So, as I tilted my head back to feel the sun on my face, I sent a prayer up to God to thank him for this very moment, on this very bench, with this very child, hand-picked just for me to make me whole. And that grateful feeling can surely rival even the warmest sunshine.

Happy 8th birthday, my sweet Pup!